As a kid everyone teased that I was a “girl scout” and my sister was a “marine” due to my overly sensitive side and her “I don’t give a damn” attitude.
As I grew up I listened to music that would send my emotions on a rollercoaster of ups and downs. I analyzed every lyric to every song thinking it was written about my life, cause you know, teen life #thestruggleisreal. My mom even threw away my Cure cassette tapes claiming they were too dark.
From the ages of 18 to 30 something I had a number of friends pass away way too early in life. And then I lost love.
So what would any normal person do? I moved to Arizona where everything is all sunshine and roses. OK, that’s a joke, but really, there’s nothing like stepping away from a place that drags you down. I cut off listening to any music for the longest time even though it was something I loved and dug deep to find my own “I don’t give a damn” attitude.
What am I writing about here? Oh, right. My child. The suddenly sensitive four year old who cries at Kung Foo Panda (not Kung Foo Panda #1, that one is ok, but Kung Foo Panda 2, bring on the waterworks) and claims the song You are My Sunshine makes her so so sad because WHY? WHY WOULD YOU TAKE HER SUNSHINE AWAY?
I’m starting to have flashbacks of my own sensitivity which is slightly scary. The sadness she feels at bedtime about the thought of being alone, the emotions she gets when she listens to a song or watches a movie (Dumbo is another one that really drags her down) and the anxiety she gets when the kids at school get too close or even just when I drop her off to a place she’s gone every day for the last 4 years of her life.
It’s not the best feeling when you see the traits that caused you so much pain start to show in your child’s personality.
We’ve got a loooong road ahead of us little girl.