As a kid everyone teased that I was a “girl scout” and my sister was a “marine” due to my overly sensitive side and her “I don’t give a damn” attitude.
As I grew up I listened to music that would send my emotions on a rollercoaster of ups and downs. I analyzed every lyric to every song thinking it was written about my life, cause you know, teen life #thestruggleisreal. My mom even threw away my Cure cassette tapes claiming they were too dark.
From the ages of 18 to 30 something I had a number of friends pass away way too early in life. And then I lost love.
So what would any normal person do? I moved to Arizona where everything is all sunshine and roses. OK, that’s a joke, but really, there’s nothing like stepping away from a place that drags you down. I cut off listening to any music for the longest time even though it was something I loved and dug deep to find my own “I don’t give a damn” attitude.
What am I writing about here? Oh, right. My child. The suddenly sensitive four year old who cries at Kung Foo Panda (not Kung Foo Panda #1, that one is ok, but Kung Foo Panda 2, bring on the waterworks) and claims the song You are My Sunshine makes her so so sad because WHY? WHY WOULD YOU TAKE HER SUNSHINE AWAY?
I’m starting to have flashbacks of my own sensitivity which is slightly scary. The sadness she feels at bedtime about the thought of being alone, the emotions she gets when she listens to a song or watches a movie (Dumbo is another one that really drags her down) and the anxiety she gets when the kids at school get too close or even just when I drop her off to a place she’s gone every day for the last 4 years of her life.
It’s not the best feeling when you see the traits that caused you so much pain start to show in your child’s personality.
We’ve got a loooong road ahead of us little girl.
I’m working for myself now and pinching pennies, but a girl’s gotta dream. So we’re starting Window Shopping Wednesdays on the blog. A weekly post dedicated to dreaming of the day we can shop our little hearts out. Until then we scour the world wide web finding motivation for me to keep trudging along in this crazy little freelance world I live in.
Week 1, Let’s go! This week’s theme is kiddo travel, since we’ll be flying cross country very soon and need lot’s of entertainment and easy kid solutions.
1. Lately Lily Books – I saw these and immediately fell in love with the watercolor illustration style and the story of this traveling little girl. There’s a whole series including flash cards. Love it!
2. Feed Our Small World T-shirt – I saw this in a second hand store and fell in love. Totally regretting not buying it. Hmm, wonder if it’s still there?
3. Kids Camelbak – Necessary to look cute while keeping hydrated on those hot Disney days
4. Scary Cute Long Sleeved Tee – When your kid gives up on Halloween costumes it’s important to have a festive backup plan.
5. Toms – Easy on, easy off. Perfect for on-the-go theme park days
6. Madisons Patriotic Project – We love books, especially when traveling. My mom recently shared this website with us. It’s a friend of hers who is an author and child psychiatrist. Visit her website, her books also have accompanying teaching tools! Check out Dr. Vanita Braver.
7. Disney’s Frozen Spot It Game – We’ve been working a lot on our letters lately, and this game looks like it travels well. Definitely something that can keep us occupied on a plane… at least for a half hour.
8. Trace Letters Workbook – All day, all night “mom can you make me letters.” Why didn’t I think of this sooner? Pre-drawn dotted letters. I’ll be damned if this kid doesn’t learn something on this vacation.
I should consider myself lucky that since Rylie was born she never cared to play on the stairs. We made such a routine of going up and down the stairs at certain times, always holding hands, that it never even occurred to her that they would be used otherwise. At least not until recently.
“Mom, I don’t need you anymore. I’m a big girl now.”
Now I stand at the top of the stairs, waiting for her to hit the bottom and hoping it’s not with her face. I hold my breath, my heart races and terrible images flash before my eyes.
She’s not the most graceful of children. I’ve seen her run into doors and walk straight into walls.
She’s the kid who stands in front of the swing set, gets kicked in the head. Falls down, stands up, gets kicked again.
I tell her repeatedly not to walk on the freshly mopped floor. I suppose I didn’t specify, which explains why rather than walk, she runs across it, always ending up a sobbing mess. Thank goodness for band aids and Elmo ice packs.
She’s fallen on her face more times than I can count on my hands, always resulting in a lump and bruise on the left side of her head. I convince myself she gravitates toward this side because her brain is so big on the left, making her a left-sided math wiz like her dad.
Growing up is so hard… on me, not her. Today she wanted to “show her friends her room.” Should we start looking at colleges?