The universe has not been on my side the past few weeks. It’s really bringing me down. Today I found a stack of pennies on the side of the road. I’m taking it as a sign of good luck, though Harris said it’s just a sign that some kids were playing and forgot them. Thanks optimist. Always such a practical guy.

So here I am to purge my negativity and hope for a brighter tomorrow.

There’s nothing worse than feeling like crap all day, every day. Imagine if you will the non-stop feeling of someone stabbing you in your butt cheek, the pain shooting to your knee and non-stop muscle spasms in your leg. That is my life right now. My life with sciatica. It’s rare I find a comfortable position I can sit in. I can’t concentrate on anything and I’ve gone from excitement and passion for all the things Im working on to just leave me in my bed and let me sleep until the pain goes away.

Just a few weeks ago I was really excited to be working out every day. I was feeling REALLY good. I was ready to make changes in my life and was convinced that great things were going to happen personally and professionally. Until the day my leg gave out on me for no apparent reason. I suppose I should be happy that I didn’t have to go to the hospital this time. I’m definitely more mobile than the last time this happened, and can already feel improvement. But it still sucks. 100%. Sucks.

I can’t sit at my desk for more than 20 minutes. I’m tired of telling Rylie I can’t carry her to bed, or sit on her little stool to read her a story when she goes potty. I don’t want my 3 year old to see me as an old crippled woman and I certainly hate it when she tells me her back hurts, because she sees mine does. The worst part about it, It will likely effect me for the rest of my life.

This episode is getting better. It is and I just have to keep reminding myself of it. But damn it’s hard.

OK, I feel somewhat cleansed of my frustration for now. Thanks for listening. Don’t feel sorry for me. Just kick my ass and tell me to snap out of it! (But please keep your ass kicking to my right butt cheek since the left is suffering already.)